One of my favorite people said a fantastically ridiculous thing to me today.
Background: she knows about the extensive medical intervention my female partner and I have utilized in attempts to get pregnant. She is always beyond supportive. She ALMOST had to see a fertility specialist before she conceived her second child.
What she said: " You just need to relax and it will happen for you."
In my head: WHAT?!
My response: "Maybe that will help."
Que? J and I will diligently attempt to make a baby here at home this month, while we relax. But I am still thinking that our lack of sperm will persist in confounding our baby-making efforts. I also doubt that my grainy old eggs will be much help either.
Question: have any of you gotten pregnant without sperm? ;)
Background: she knows about the extensive medical intervention my female partner and I have utilized in attempts to get pregnant. She is always beyond supportive. She ALMOST had to see a fertility specialist before she conceived her second child.
What she said: " You just need to relax and it will happen for you."
In my head: WHAT?!
My response: "Maybe that will help."
Que? J and I will diligently attempt to make a baby here at home this month, while we relax. But I am still thinking that our lack of sperm will persist in confounding our baby-making efforts. I also doubt that my grainy old eggs will be much help either.
Question: have any of you gotten pregnant without sperm? ;)
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13 comments:
I have had a shockingly similar conversation with a VERY SMART and totally supportive friend. I was completely baffled (and irritated, frankly). The only thing I can think is that people find it really hard to think outside their own experience, even when it defies logic ....
You're so nice to actually say out loud "maybe that will help". I always give them (oh yes, there have been many) a lecture and they end up apologizing to me. Because yeah, that lack of sperm thing really messes up my relaxing and I get a little bitchy about it.
i got one of those comments before too, from someone in the know. i couldnt believe it. i replied that it was kind of hard to relax when i am pumped full of hormones and have my legs in stirrups. people are clueless.
My god. The crap that falls out of people's mouths leaves me flabbergasted at times.
I think that those kinds of comments are actually the comment makers' own notes to self, i.e. "I need to relax - this whole infertility thing of yours is stressing me out!"
You are too too kind!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I hate this comment! It's right behind my all time most despised: are you two sisters? (we get this a lot because we're both kind of femme, have curly hair, are white and people have no imagination.)
Maybe she means you should relax so much you forget you're a lesbian in a relationship and have sex with a man?
:::bangs head on desk:::
Wow. You have such class. I would have unloaded with a- "I challenge you to relax when you're spending a grand a month for a four day window of hope."
O M G
It's so bad it's funny.
xoxoxo
Cat always says something along the lines of "we already tried that but I seem to have a very low sperm count" then she goes on to rib them about how she has changed from tightie whities to boxers but it doesn't seem to have helped at all. They usually blush and feel stupid as we all laugh and they realize how rediculous their comment is. It's devilishly amusing to watch them squirm.
You were way too nice, I would of said, "well, I would relax if I had sperm for it to "just happen" with... " Only if it were that easy... Some people just don't think before they speak...
This has got to be the MOST oft repeated stupid thing people say. Second only to: "Have you considered adoption?"
garrrr....
yeah. I so get that. I even wrote a very satirical post on the matter back in the winter. :)
Owch. Like, hey, do you even know the first thing about who I am? But this was a favorite person, huh? So despite the fact that your other commenters will flog me for it, I'm going to hope that the person meant not to stress about the medical intervention, relax and go with the needles and U/S wands and blood draws.
Too much of a stretch? Yeah, I thought so too.
ditto what dagny said
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