I seem to be a bit emotionally erratic of late. The good news is that much of what I am feeling is actually pretty happy. Here's the rundown from this past week.
- VERY SAD: Guess who should NOT write quizzes on the day AF unexpectedly rears her emotionally-charged head? yep, the last post was written mere moments before my period started... that explains alot!
- JUST EMOTIONAL: J looked at me last night, laughing and said, "Who ARE you and what have you done with the Real Cindy?" I was crying as I watched people get married in a movie I have seen no less than 7 times. I also agreed to take a kitten a friend has. I think IF has finally sent me over the brink.
- UNEXPECTED OPTIMISM: Today I saw my GYN for a 6 month follow-up after my yearly exam. I was making an appointment for 4 months from now (which he requires when women are taking Clomid) and I had the thought, " I won't be keeping this appointment, since I will be pregnant by then." How about that? I haven't actually imagined myself as a pregnant person in a very long time.
- NERVES OF STEEL: I did not get weird about all the pregnant bellies surrounding me at the doctor's office today.
- ZEN-LIKE CALM: I have not been freaking out about when the fertility clinic will call and whether our turn really is this month or not. I have a quiet certainty that we will get some eggs this month or next month.
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4 comments:
i liked the quiz, whether driven by the pms crazies or not! we've all been there, so it was a great post to read!
im glad to see some optimism and calm in the mix. im very optimistic for ya'll too - it feels like good things are right around the corner!
I started crying during an episode of The Dog Wh.isper.er last Friday! And I'd seen the episode twice before! Oh my gosh, we've all been there! It's an emotional time. There is so much going on right now for you guys and so much MORE about to go on! Yay for sudden thoughts of pregnancy! And yay for all good, optimistic, zen-like thoughts. Hey, tell J if she is ever looking for you again, she can check over at my blog, because whenever Cindy visits me, she is incredibly funny, supportive and kind.
And if you want to know the truth, when my posts are all mellow and zen and enlightened-appearing, it usually means I have been (or am about to be) upset, angry, crying or pitching a fit about something. Writing is my catharsis. But don't tell anyone. I like when people think I'm so in control.
it's funny - I know I often sound upbeat - but I don't usually feel like that - although I do admit to being more zen about it these days.
I think we have all been there - lots of different feelings - ups and downs - tears, etc. Right now on my trip I am drinking too much coffee and eating too much and that's just my way of dealing with the stress of hotels and traveling. Oh god this post is all about me. SO glad you are feeling optimistic and so glad we are close to being cycle buddies of sorts.Apparently I need to write a me post on my own blog!!!!!
So glad to hear that you're feeling happy and calm and optimistic. I love the idea of you in a place defined by quiet certainty. Like another commenter said, you always have such lovely and wise things to say on other people's blogs, and I'm glad that that loveliness and wisdom are also turned inwards.
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