I encouraged HJ to take a hpt tonight. Okay that is quite an understatement since I followed her to the bathroom and wouldn't let her "go" until I unwrapped the test. Then I stood and held the stick for about 5 minutes willing the second line to show up. Of course, the test confirmed her suspicion that she is not pregnant.
I'm okay. She's okay. We're okay.
I am trying not to think of this round as a failure. We TTCers bandy the word failure about too often, as though the term does not leave a harmful residue on all our psyches. Truly the language we use affects our thoughts and our feelings. Repeatedly having ours desires put on hold each month is hard enough without us calling ourselves mean words which imply a broken status. Success and failure suggests a duality which I believe is false. TTC offers many outcomes: success (a child born healthy after 9 months), partial success alternate attempts at pregnancy, adoption and others I cannot conceive at this moment. So I will simply say that HJ's IUIs have not produced a baby YET.
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6 comments:
(((hug)))
for you both.
xoxo
{{{HUG}}} I'm so sorry.
You are right. We do tend to so such negative things when we see that BFN. It's better to have postive thoughts.
wait just a minute here. wasn't last night only 9dpi?!?! thats entirely too early to tell anything. plus, it sounds like you were using end-of-the-day diluted pee, not fmu. that stuff isn't reliable.
im still holding out hope for ya'll this cycle.
sorry :(
I have seen you all over the blogoshpere but just finally found your blog. I am sad I didn't find you in the midst of a bfp celebration though. So sorry very to hear it. I am going to spend the rest of my Sunday catching up on your story. Take care of yourselves.
hugs to you
you are right--I use the word failure ENTIRELY too much
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