waterworks

I cannot decide if I am having a Lupron side effect or if this is the same side effect TTC has gifted me with for almost 2 years.... I cry, alot!

Crying is not my usual thing to do. Sure I am a softy but I used to rarely cry. Years as a therapist have taught me ways to not cry because crying right along with an abuse survivor generally sends the wrong message (and so on). For pete's sake I did not even cry at my own grandmother's funeral. I cried later because crying in front of all those people felt like an invasion. You get the picture.

Now, I cry with impunity! Over the weekend, HJ sent me a love note via email. I had not even told her about my bad day, so I cried. Next I opened a forwarded email from a friend about how women support one another through friendship, and I cried again. Lastly, I opened an email from a friend telling me her IVF worked....and I sobbed! Really, loud gasping sobs that made the dogs run up to snuggle with me. I was so happy for DB (not even jealous a bit!) and I sat on my bed sobbing and saying a silent prayer.

This is just odd. Is it the Lupron or has TTC broken me? *wink*

Oh, some people asked if I gave my boss permission to share my TTC information with my coworkers. The answer is "no." I told my boss about IVF because my appointments meant that I had to miss some important grant meetings. She was always super-supportive, especially through the m/c. Then with IVF #2, a coworker let it slip that she knew what was going on with me. I almost laughed at the "oh shit, I wasn't supposed to know" look on her face. So I knew my boss had told everyone. Now everyone just asks me directly. My boss is pretty great so I do not want to damage our relationship by confronting her. Hence, my glorious lack of privacy at work.

** Edit** I would like to amend my previous statement about lack of symptoms. I now have the crushing Lupron headache that I got during my 1st IVF cycle. Tylenol please!